Holy CRAP!

I am smack dab in the middle of the book and movie, The Help, in real life! There is definitely a network that tends to undermine the caregivers. My brother, who writes the checks, finally told the main caregiver on Friday that it was not right for her to put down 8 hours every day when she never gets there at 7 and never has. We just overlooked it during school because she has children that she has to get to school. That's fine, but don't put down that you worked 8 hours when you clearly didn't! My brother goes over every morning to check on Mom and he is always there before the caregiver and many times goes ahead and gets Mom out of bed. Well, the caregiver didn't like him reprimanding her (very gently, because we know how defensive she is). She called one of the night caregivers and told her that my brother was checking on her in the middle of the night to make sure she was doing her job. He's hiding out in the woods and watching the house. What a bunch of crap! That caregiver called and got me instead of my brother. She just wanted to know why he was watching her because she does her job and she is even there early every time. I calmed her down and told her that there was not an ounce of truth to that. The day time caregiver is just trying to start mess because she was busted and wants to bring everyone else into the fray! I made her understand that if we had an issue with her, we would approach her directly...not someone else! We love the night caregivers because they do their job and do the 8 hours they are paid for. What a bunch of crap! We have ignored the indiscretions of the daytime caregiver because we know how defensive and sensitive she is and we are afraid she would take it out on our mom, but it adds up significantly when you get paid for 8 hours every day and you have only worked 71/2 every day or less! I guess it just finally got to my brother enough to bring it up. It just pisses me off that she tries to involve the other caregivers. I would like to fire her ass and keep the others, but it is too hard to find a replacement.

The night caregiver that called me told me not to mention it to the caregiver who started this mess or to my brother, so I didn't. My brother would really be mad if he knew what the daytime caregiver was doing and the lies she is telling about him.
My brother is a rock star! Yesterday, he got a 5 gallon bucket of corn ready to cut off the cob and freeze. I cut it all off and heated it, cooled it and packaged it. He watched how I did it. I talked to him a few minutes ago and he had picked, shucked, silked, cut off, heated, cooled and packaged another 5 gallon bucket by himself. Not many men would even begin to do this! He did it at Mom's house so he could be with her as well.

I'm still here!

All is well!

It's a busy time of the year and I have been neglectful of this little blog spot. Mom is doing well. Saw both her GP and her cardiologist last week and seems to be doing well. Some days she understands more and is able to talk a little bit, but other days...not so much. We are still taking her outside everyday in her power chair, but it is getting really hot and the flies have been relentless this year.

The best part of the garden is happening now. Those days when we get the FIRST tomatoes, cukes, and potatoes. YUM!

I have invested in yet another gadget! I could be Inspector Gadget! It is a high tech pedometer that automatically updates to my computer. It is called Fitbit and although I just used it for the first time yesterday, I think it is going to be really good for me. I don't even know I have it on. That's how small it is. The goal is 10,000 steps a day. Yesterday was only about 4,000, but it was Sunday and I did very little activity. Hopefully, today will be better. I am determined to prevent heart disease and stroke since I have everything in the genes working against me!

Another one gone!

My mother's sister that I mentioned in the last post died Friday night just 3 weeks after her husband died. Their 4 children and 2 grandchildren have really been through it. It has been hard on Mom as well. Her sister was slightly younger than her. This picture was made when we took Mom to the hospital to see Aunt Dorothy. They just held hands the whole time. We stood mom up out of her wheelchair so she could see Aunt Dorothy in her casket and she just cried and cried. She didn't cry like that when my dad died! Of course, she was so exhausted when he died that it was a relief for her.

 I got to come home at 6:30 tonight. My brother has two nights this week that he won't be available to help, so he sent me home tonight. I am glad because we just had a storm with hail and my car was in the garage!

I'm BACK!

Didn't realize that I had been gone so long. Not much has been happening. Mom is doing really well, but her slightly younger sister had a stroke and she has turned into a really mean person. She has been so "off the chain" that her children could not even tell her that her husband had a stroke as well and died. Not sure they have even told her yet and he died on April 15th. She has been on the Senior Psychiatric unit of the hospital to try to find something that will calm her down. Made me ever so grateful that Mom's stroke left her unable to walk and talk instead of just being a mean old woman. She is even mean to her own children. It's really quite sad. I am afraid to go visit my aunt for fear that she would be mean to me.

Gardening is well underway, which is great therapy for both my brother and me. We had to re-plant almost everything due to hard rains that hardened the ground so the little seeds couldn't push through. We have tomatoes, squash, beets, cucumbers, bell peppers, okra, corn, and eggplant. Brother also has sugar cane planted.

I love Texas!

I didn't take these pictures, but what I saw looked just like this. So, so beautiful! But why are they called Bluebonnets? They are clearly PURPLE!

AHHHH!

I'm back and had Mom duty last night. She is fine and I am rested. Made a lot of difference to me and my attitude to have a few days to just kick back. Since I was in the path of the  weather on Tuesday, I checked out of the Gaylord Texan and headed south just to get away from the storms. The plus side to that is that the storms didn't go there and the wild flowers in the hill country were awesome.

My brother cut my oak tree down for me while I was gone. It wasn't real big, but it was going to be too big for my yard and the roots were going to be a problem. I have someone coming today to grind the stump and I am grateful to have that behind me. This is a patio home that was professionally landscaped. Why he put a tree that was eventually going to be huge in such a small yard is beyond me. One would think he would know better. That's two trees that I have had to cut down because they were going to be too big. 

Now if we could just get a new government in D. C. I might be able to breathe deeply!

Strange things!

A family friend brought her 4 week old son to visit my mother Wednesday night. My mother lit up like a Christmas tree and started talking about that baby in words that we could clearly understand. Yesterday, she didn't remember their visit until my brother reminded her. Again she started talking about that sweet baby. The brain is an amazing thing! Hers used to be more amazing than any of the rest of ours. She was so smart. In fact, she got married when she was 16 and continued to go to school and graduated valedictorian of her class. She never went to college, but she would have kicked butt if she had. She was thrilled that both her children got college degrees.

Well, it's official! Sunday, I am leaving for a few days to luxuriate at the Gaylord Texan. I told Mom that Stewart is going to forget to give her the coumadin every day at 4 because I have my phone set to alarm so we can remember to give it to her. He said he would have to figure out how to set his phone alarm. She knows I am leaving and she seems to be ok with it.

Thanks!

After the caregiver took Mom to get her hair done Thursday, she took her to the nursing home rehab section to see her sister. Her sister is now in the same rehab facility that Mom was in for so long. How strange that almost none of the same people work there! Her speech therapist heard she was there and she ran to the parking lot to see Mom before she got away. We are grateful to the caregiver for doing this. It made Mom and her sister feel better.

It's time!

Tomatoes, squash, bell peppers, cucumbers, egg plants. Potatoes are coming up. Got some corn planted today.

He's BACK!

My Bro is back and it makes me very happy. Well, he always brings me orange creams from the candy store! Soooo.....today, I don't have to rush and get things done at my house so I can head to Mom's to be there by the time the caregiver leaves at 3. Except the one day when that mean old lady kidnapped my mother, Mom did OK. She missed my brother like crazy. I asked her when I got there if she talked to Stewart yesterday morning. She started on and on about something which I could not understand and then just busted out crying! Oh, my! What have I started was all I could think about. Turns out she just missed him!

My brother is insisting that I take a little R & R as well. It's different when I do it because we have to hire someone to come in to help because he cannot take her to the bathroom. She only has to go one time while I am there, but someone has to be there to take her and I hate to have to pay a caregiver $10 and hour because I am gone. We are blowing through her money like crazy. I am thinking I may check in a couple of days at the Gaylord Texan in Grapevine, Texas....just outside Dallas. Never been there, but I hear wonderful things and all I want to do is rest in luxury! Judging from the cost of the rooms, they damn sure better be luxurious!

Why?

My brother is in Branson this week. Mom did great the first day he was gone and walked with the caregiver. My brother walks her every day and he told her that she must walk with the caregiver. Everything was fine.  Yesterday, some mean old woman inhabited the body of my sweet mom. She refused to walk, refused an enema, shoved her lunch plate away...just all kinds of crazy, unusual for her, stuff. All I could do was apologize to the caregiver because I have no idea why she does this. She doesn't very often, but when she does, she is mean and rude. That is sooooo not my mother. Of course, I got angry with her and fussed, which she will not remember today. This will be my brother's last vacation until next December....thank goodness! I hate it when he is gone. Time for me to get out in my yard and relieve some stress!

Great Day!

After two days of enemas, Mom had a good day. The caregiver took her to the hairdresser, so she was looking all pretty. My brother called me and said he was going to bring Mom up to the hospital in my city to visit her sister. It was great! The sisters were so happy to see each other! They just held hands the whole time. One of our cousins was there, so we got to visit with her as well.

Ooops!

Didn't realize I had been missing in action for so long. Things with Mom are about the same. Her sister has had another stroke and is in rehab now. I think I may be looking into my crystal ball as far as genes and health goes. I am now trying to combat as much of it as I can. I know I can't change the genes, but I can change the way I take care of myself....which is poorly! Although I am not a Catholic, I decided that during Lent I would do some sort of exercise every day. I joined the ALL HOURS fitness because I certainly need access at all hours. So far, I have been to it every day except Friday and that was strictly not of my own doing. I had no control over my time that day...SO, I guess I have already failed, but I will continue until Easter and then I will probably tone it down to a few days a week. My workout usually lasts about an hour, which includes 30-40 minutes on a treadmill or other cardio machine and some upper body and lower body weight machines. I enjoy it.

The gardening season is upon us. It's always a time I look forward to. My brother does most of the work because I don't get to Mom's until just after 3 P.M. He has been taking her outside in her power chair so she can watch him work and he can watch her between the time the caregiver leaves at 3 and I get there. He got the potatoes planted. My contribution to that was to get the seed potatoes all cut up the night before because I could do that after Mom was asleep. He also got his sugar cane in the ground. We also planted a few tomatoes in a raised bed. Last night we had to cover them with buckets to protect them from the cold. Gardening is just therapy for me. My dad loved it, too!

Finally!

We took Mom to the surgeon who put the peg tube in and got it out. My brother and I both left the room because we didn't want to see her hurt. By the time we got out, the doc said, "It's out!" We are all happy now. Mom turn 87 today so we told her that was her birthday present!

More frustration!

Mom woke up screaming and crying two nights in a row because of pain from that damn peg tube. Home Health told us yesterday to take her to the ER. We have already tried that and they did nothing, so we didn't do that. We may try to take her to the surgeon who put it in this week. It has been nothing but a pain...has never worked right for us although the Rehab nurses had no trouble getting her food and meds in. We have not used it since the first day or two after we got her home. It has blood around it and she won't let us touch it. It has only been in since December 21st and the doc says it has to stay 3 months and heal completely. It is never going to heal. We are just so frustrated seeing her in such pain. I started giving her pain meds Friday night.

Yay!

Things have been much better lately. My brother comes over every night to help me get Mom in bed and we are switching up staying with her after she goes to bed until a caregiver gets there. It has made it much easier on me to get to come home by 8 or 8:30 a few nights a week. Makes a huge difference. Don't know why it took us so long to figure this out. I still have an occasional melt down and cry a lot, but those days happen more rarely. My brother is going to be gone for a long weekend next weekend and he will go to Branson again in March. They have told me that I need to take a few days and go somewhere, but I told them it would be pointless for me because my brain wouldn't be with my body even if I went away.

I have taken advantage of some beautiful weather to do the spring cleaning in the yard. All the flower beds are clean, but I don't have them mulched yet, because Wal Mart is too slow getting the stuff unwrapped. All the flower pots are cleaned and ready for new soil and more beautiful flowers.

Also managed to get my new cabinets finished in the garage. Don't have it all organized yet, but maybe by the end of this week, I will.

EXACTLY!

ER AGAIN!

We spent all Friday afternoon in the ER. Mom's peg tube is stopped up again, has blood in it, and hurts her when it is touched. Something is wrong and her doctor told us to take her to the ER and get them to remove it. The ER doctor barely even looked at it, called the surgeon who put it in and he told the ER doc that it could not be removed, yet. It has not been there long enough to heal and it must be healed before it can be removed or the holes will not heal properly. Not sure what we will do now. The doc who put it in told us just to leave it alone since we are not using it anymore and not even try to flush it. I'm afraid this is not going to turn out well. She also has another UTI, which is why she must swallow her Cipro. She swallows everything else with no problem, including lots of other pills.

Divine Intervention

I did nothing but cry at Mom's today. Don't know why I am such an emotional wreck. I just held her and told her I couldn't stand to see her this way. I also had to deal with some bathroom issues tonight that I am just not equipped to do and that just threw me for a loop. I put her to bed at 7:00 like I always do and went back in the kitchen to read my book. My brother came in after his Bible study and told me to go home. He was going to stay until the caregiver got there. I was so grateful...but, he had NO CLUE what a wreck I had been all night! I just said "Thank you" and came home. Divine Intervention! I think so! There are NO coincidences!