The pressure of taking care of Mom after we get her home is starting to weigh me down. We will have to have some help. People are already clamoring for the jobs, but we can't afford a lot of help. If we do that, it would cost as much as the nursing home. I guess we will just play it by ear and see how much she can help herself...which, I am afraid, is very little. Tomorrow, someone is coming to fit her for the ortho piece for her right foot. Maybe that will help. Her mind is not right. She does lots of strange things like wipe her face with her bread and trying to eat her tea with a fork....just crazy stuff! I'm just tired!
7 months ago
7 comments:
Sandy, you cannot do it alone. I know you already know that...it is hard to admit...but physically and mentally it is not good for one person to try to do this.
A facility and maybe even the one she is at will take her in for adult day care when you need a day off...and you WILL. It will cost something but you will save yourself from going down the drain.
I am assuming you will have to move in with her...I figure you are trying not to have to do that ...but it sounds as if she will need you there all the time.
If she is what they call techinically 'homebound'. Therapy will come for a bit to help her but only once a week for each therapy.
You must check with social security to see about 'disability'. It may not be much more money....but there may be some other benefits to it....that takes over a year to get that done in my experience.
Talk to the person at the facility she is in to see what your mother is eligible for when she gets home. Those people are a font of knowledge about the intricacies of medicare.
If she spends 3 days in the hospital she is then eligible for another 100 days in the rehab place. ....make sure to ask about that...I am not sure of the details on it or if it is the same for each state.
Visiting nurse association or home health care agency will have details on what she can get in what circumstances. Some of it covered by medicare.
I think it would be best if you had an agency like that coming in to help....a nurse comes to check on her once a week to see if you or she need anything. They are guided by your wishes so you could get her off of a lot of meds if you think they may not be helping her or even causing side effects she doesn't need.B
If I am repeating myself I am sorry.
I am not giving up my own home, but I will be staying with her most of the time. I am getting an internet connection at her house so I can entertain myself on my laptop and my Iphone. Most of the iphone apps require wifi or 3G..neither of which is in her home. We already have a relationship with a Home Health Service that was checking on her before the stroke and coming to bathe her 3 times a week. We will resume that and their therapists. At this point even we do not know what she can do for herself.
Can you take a long weekend away before she comes home?
I hope you have time to entertain yourself. It is a full time job.
If your brother comes at lunch every day like he does at the rehab place that will help....give you time to get out and do some things for yourself.
You may not be able to leave her alone.
When is her release date? Get in groceries and things for the start....if she can or can't eat certain things.
Portable potty....she may need a lot of help and they are easier than trying to maneuver in the bathroom with both of you. Pads for the bed in case of acccidents. Depends type underwear, baby wipes, wheelchair, adult bibs.
Move a chair from the table and make sure her wheelchair will fit under it. I think you both will feel better if she can eat at the table.
Meals in the freezer you can just heat and eat. Take out menus that deliver. Quick things for you to stuff in your mouth when
you don't have time to fix/eat something. Yogurt,granola bars.
Dad especially enjoyed yogurt. He also had a feeding tube...he never did eat enough to sustain life...his swallowing never got back to normal.
I know some of this is common sense but sometimes you are so busy thinking about the big picture that the small things get overlooked.Beth
Hugs to you.
My brother and I are 100% in this together. I have an awesome brother who will do anything. He actually lives right around the corner from her on all our adjoined property and he is EXCELLENT about caring for his mother.
That is SUPER.
I just remember you saying his wife ruled the roost . :) Beth
Delete this if need be.
Sandy, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I have been AOL for the last 15 months. My husband is an only child and he has gone at least 3 to 4 days every day to see and feed his mom. She passed away two weeks ago. I really can relate to what you are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Claudia (Moobear)
Wow! Claudia, haven't heard from you in a long time. Sorry about your mother-in-law. I remember when you were blogging and you talked about her a lot.
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