Friday, August 10, 2012

I've been negligent!

Things are about the same around here. I was in panic mode one night this week when the caregiver scheduled to come in at night had car trouble and said she couldn't come. I have no idea how to change Mom during the night. My brother called the caregiver and told her he would come get her and she agreed to come, but her brother got her car to running before that happened. I guess I should take a CNA course!!! (Certified Nurse Assistant). Crisis averted, but I'm sure it will eventually happen when I have to stay.

Mom has been getting weaker and weaker and has started that old thing of holding food in her mouth and not swallowing. Her mind is also deteriorating. It is my hope that she can go on and join Dad in heaven before it gets much worse, but I know it's not our call. What we think is best may not be what is God's plan.

Yesterday, I went to the funeral of my high school chemistry teacher. I learned so much from her and still remember all those damn symbols, which I have never used except to answer trivia questions. She was one of my inspirations to become a teacher. One of the young men in my class was struggling with his chemistry and she assigned me to help him. He passed and I wanted to become a teacher!!

An aside! I am so glad I no longer have a landline phone! NO POLITICAL BS! Sooo...I'll just add my political BS here!


Linda said...

Sorry to hear that you Mom is getting weaker. I understand what you mean when you want her to go on to be with you Dad before it gets any worse.

I have not told you because we live in such a parallel universe sometimes, but my Mom passed away in Feb. She was sitting in the lounge and nodded off watching tv which she did all the time. When they went to wake her up for the afternoon nap, she was gone. I can not think of a more peaceful way to go. She had gotten so combative with everyone. She even got into several little fights. That was not my Mother she wouldn't ever even say a bad thing about anyone. I have fought with my thought about not beening completely destroyed by her death, but she was not herself and I knew there was a better place for her to be.

I truly hope that you Mom does not suffer.

Sandy said...

Thank you, Linda. Sorry that a part of your life has gone on, but I am like you. I would love for my mom to go that way. What a blessing that would be! I would not be completely destroyed by her death because she, too, is not herself. She would never want to wear her children down and she has no clue that is what is happening. I just pray every night that she does not suffer. She has a living will and we will not take any dramatic measures to keep her alive. Right now, she is just happy at home.

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