Monday, September 07, 2009

Praying for the angels to come...

I am doing these posts, I guess, mostly for me since my mind won't focus on anything else. Computer games help, but I am still thinking all the time. Today, Dad is only able to walk with a cane or a walker. Thankfully, we already had both at home since Mom already uses a cane and a walker and we have left over ones from other family members who have gone on to their heavenly home. He can barely talk. I am going tomorrow to take him to the barber to get his hair all cut off since it is falling out everywhere. Then my brother is taking him for his treatment tomorrow afternoon. We have already decided that brother will use one of the wheel chairs located at the front door of the cancer center to get him on back to the radiation department. I almost wish they just wouldn't do any more radiation on him. It's just killing him. His head is all burned.

Once again I couldn't take it today to see him so pitiful. I just walked all over the property and cried. I didn't want him to know I was crying, but he can't see me anyway. His vision is even more gone. I saw his little stool out in his berry patch where he sat to do the last little work that he was able to do. I wanted to move it, but I couldn't. I wonder how long it takes for all the tears to be used up. Where do they keep coming from?

We dug a few of my  brothers sweet potatoes today. Only one of the four varieties he planted was ready. The others are still small. These are a white potato and we have no idea how they taste. They have to cure for awhile before we can even try them.


Linda said...

As I was reading with tears in my eyes I wished that I could be closer just to listen and maybe a shoulder to cry on, then I thought, I can be a friend and listen even if it's only through the internet. It breaks my heart to hear of all the horrible things cancer has done to your father. I am so thankful that you have your brother there with you. Tomorrow will be hard at the barber shop so know I will be thinking of you and saying a special prayer.

Anonymous said...

I love you, Ms. B!! We are still praying for your daddy and for all of you. This makes me so sad. ((HUGS)) and prayers!


Sandy said...

Thanks Linda and Gina...I have dreaded this time for years, but I know how lucky I am to have had both my parents for 66 years. The hardest part is just watching him die a little every day.