See you on the other side, Daddy.

Dad's Obituary

Daddy's gone

Daddy's gone. He went to his heavenly home last night at 12:30. I miss him dearly already, but I know he is in a place better than all of us. As I left his side last night and started to drive to my home, I started crying and I said out loud to no one....I have seen my daddy for the last time.

The right thing!

Mom, Brother and I made a decision to have an ambulance transport Dad back home to his own bed and call in hospice. We did that today and I feel confident we did the right thing. Hospice has already been there and supplied us with morphine and ativan drops to just put in his mouth to help him rest. He has had no food today and hasn't asked for any. The swallowing problem is still an issue, so we just put ice in his mouth when he wants water. The sitter is with him at home and Mom is sleeping, I hope. After a restless night last night, I am about to go to bed and hope for some sleep tonight. My heart hurts.

One step backwards...

Dad was unable to swallow today and we are pretty sure he aspirated. He choked a lot, so he is getting zero nutrition. Nothing works to help him rest...even the knock out shot last night failed. Tonight he had morphine. I would not let Mom and brother leave me tonight until the sitter got there. Usually they go on home and I wait for the sitter to come at 8:30, but tonight I was afraid. They waited with me. My brother broke down and cried today in the room. I'm tired!!!!!

Update

Dad still in hospital. I'm tired. Upside is I lost 8 pounds. Gotta find the positive somewhere!

What next?

We had an ambulance bring Dad to the hospital yesterday. I thought he had a small stroke because when we tried to get him walking back to his room after sitting up a long time, his right leg was just sort of flopping. After we got him back to bed, he wanted to pee every 5 minutes, but couldn't even get up enough to get to the potty chair. After his wetting the bed twice and constantly calling for Mom, who had already been up with him all night, I just called an ambulance. Mom can't deal with this any more. Don't know what the next step is...probably hospice and sitters. The sitter we had lined up for last night came and sat with him at the hospital and we all got to go to our respective homes and rest. She is coming again tonight to the hospital. What a blessing she is, but we have some big decisions to make. Every day I pray that this will be the day God takes him home. I guess I'm selfish and don't want to make the hard decisions. Going to try to rest a few minutes while my brother is at the hospital. I was there at 6:30 this morning and someone brought Mom at 10. She is still there.

Thank you, God!

I got to Mom's this morning while the lady who does Dad's  bath and shaves him was there, but the home health nurse had already been there. Home health gave Mom an ultimatum...either we get a sitter or she would get one for us. She was serious, too! I called the lady who had already said she would do it and she came and met with Mom and me. She starts tomorrow night at 10 - 6 and I am so grateful. We know that she is honest because we know several others she has sat with including my aunt until she died. We are setting her up in their living room,which they never use anyway, and it is right next to Dad's room. My brother and I set up a TV and a recliner in there today and the baby monitor works great, so she can use that and not have to be in the room with him. I think Mom is relieved to have her Tuesday-Friday. There is another lady that I think we can get when we need someone for the other 3 nights. I told Dad today that the home health nurse said we must get Mom some help. He didn't say anything, so I think he probably didn't hear me. While the sitter was there making plans with us, the home health nurse who was there earlier called to see if we were getting help. I told her "thank you" for telling Mom that we must do this and that we were hiring someone at that moment.I think I might even sleep well tonight.

WTH!

I am just mad now! My dad walked all the way back to my mom's room to tell her he didn't think our getting a sitter was the answer! He said he wouldn't have any privacy....hell, he doesn't have any privacy now, and she told him that.I asked her if he had an answer, but , of course, he has no clue what this is doing to her. He is only thinking of himself. What it tells me is that he hears a lot more than we think he does. We never talked to him about a sitter, but we have discussed it while he is  in the room thinking he could not hear. His making a comment like that is going to make Mom even more reluctant to let us get a sitter a night. She is just exhausted and is just  not able to do all the things she has to do for him. Yesterday he was all cross ways on his bed and made no effort to right himself and while she was trying to move him around, she fell. Had to call brother to come get her up. Today he fell again. We don't know what he is doing when he falls. Mom thinks he is trying to move the potty chair, which she has told him to leave alone. I don't know what to do. I bought a baby monitor today and have been trying it out here at my home. Works great, so I will set it up there tomorrow. I just pray that he doesn't kill my mom, too!

I'm here!

I should never be AWOL for 3 days because it makes my out of town friends think that my dad has died. Not true...I have just been lazy and there have been no changes. He doesn't get any better, but he doesn't get worse either. Today I took him out for his walk after he had a few bites of lunch and he did OK. My brother told me that Dad barely made it back last night when he went for his walk. Brother had to help him back in the house more than usual. On the plus side, he has not fallen since Tuesday night and that was before my brother went to bed. The baby monitor we borrowed so Mom could hear him at night has too much static in it so we can't use it. I guess I'll go buy one.

This afternoon I helped prepare finger foods for a wine and beer tasting fundraiser for our krewe tonight. All the fruit was bought at Sam's and we had the biggest seedless grapes I have ever seen. I must go tomorrow and get some. The venue is Orleans on Main in downtown Minden because the owner of the venue is also a krewe member. The tables were decorated by another member who also owns a business called The Butterfly Garden here in Minden. Each table has a different theme with things from her shop and each one is awesome. It will be a beautiful night. I just hope people show up. There was no RSVP so we didn't know how many to prepare for.

Denial mode today!

Today has been another one of my special be a slug days. Nothing got done but nap after nap after nap. I guess I am in full denial that I need to be at Mom and Dad's checking on them and taking care of them, but I haven't been and I haven't called. I'm sure my brother would have called me if he thought I needed to be there. It's been raining all day, so we couldn't take Dad out for his walks.

Finally, late this afternoon I fried some perch and took some to my aunt (Dad's sister), who is in an assisted living facility right down from my house.

Just funny!

The guy who does this is a graduate of the school in Texas where I taught and his mom is a friend of mine. He is mostly known as Shirley Q Liquor.

What REALLY happened to the dinosaurs!!!!!

OMG....what to do!

Not only is my dad dying, but he is killing my mom as well. I went down this morning to stay with him so she could go to the hairdresser. When I got there, she was lying down. She said Dad fell again last night and busted his head open. She doesn't even know why he was out of his room because he has a potty chair right beside his bed, but he fell in the hall headed back to his room and the walker was on top of him. Mom and my brother got him patched up, but my brother said it really needed stitches. Mom spent the rest of the night sitting up in a recliner in his room. She is soooooo not able to do that. When I got there, she canceled her appointment and went to lie down. I told her I would stay there and I wanted her to go sleep. She didn't stay down long, but I got some lunch for both of them, took him for his walk and made her go back to her bed to rest. Dad doesn't remember any of what happened last night. Tonight she took his walker out of his room. He can't go anywhere without it. She ALMOST consented to my getting a sitter at night when I asked her this morning...but not quite. I talked to my brother about it tonight and he wasn't sure how Dad would handle that. I told him that Dad didn't have a "say" in this decision. We have to save Mom! He has already complained about the lady we got to help with the housework. Mom told him to "get over it"...she needed help! Good for her!

Change of routine..

No Thursday ladies lunch today. Too many conflicts...one lost her father and another is at the hospital with her mother, who's having surgery today. Majorly moist and hot today, so I'm sure I'll resort to being a SLUG!

Dad seems to be slightly better. Mom stopped giving him zanax at night and he seems to be more stable without it. She didn't have to call my brother even once Tuesday night. I haven't talked to her today, so I'm hoping the same was true last night. She already stopped the ambien last week, which also helped.

Closer to home....

My friend, who lives right behind me, lost her father tonight. He was 94, but, of course, it got the wheels turning in my own head. In the 3+ years I have known her, I can never remember her saying anything nice about her father. She mostly just complained.....I would never be that way! And....she called him by his first name! That just blew my mind. She did a lot for him because she was the only child living in this town until he was put in an assisted living facility in Shreveport near her sister.

I offered again to get a sitter at night for Dad, but Mom still says no.... even though he fell again last night and got a big place on his back where the skin was knocked off. I'm going to look around for a baby monitor that I can borrow to maybe help her out a little. She is a saint, but it is taking a toll on her. She is tired, but she cares for him like he is her child. I try to make sure she rests in the afternoon, but I can't control the company that comes calling on them.

Sometimes I just have to have a REAL coke. Tonight was one of those times. Tomorrow night our neighborhood is supposed to have our National Night Out party, but now that one of the planners has lost her father, I don't know what we will do. Rain is also in the forecast!

Amazing stuff here....this is real!

It's a corn maze!

I like it!

Soggy Sabbath!

Neither Mom nor Dad came to lunch today at my brother's, but I am glad they didn't try. It was pouring and had been all night. I didn't go to see Dad yesterday while Mom went to the beauty shop because he told me I didn't have to come stay with him while she was gone. Well.....when she got back, he was lying in the floor calling for her. I guess I will go next week whether he wants me to or not!. We put a potty chair in his room so maybe he wouldn't fall while trying to go to the bathroom and Mom slept for 6 1/2 hours straight last night. Yesterday, she tried just sitting up in his room in a recliner, but he asked her every 10 minutes what time it was. She couldn't take that! I will go there in the morning and try to do some cleaning where the water heater is because we have a new one coming tomorrow. Dad told Mom on Thursday night that something will go wrong tomorrow and, yes, she got up and had no hot water. My brother got it lit back for now, but he said it was in such bad shape that he called immediately and ordered a new one.

Good day...sort of!

Dad was up sitting at the table when I got there around 11:30. He was waiting for the corn flakes that I was bringing, but he couldn't eat them very well. Don't know why since Mom said he ate 3 bowls of rice krispies last night...not much difference there! My brother came and took Dad out for a walk and before Dad got to rest, his favorite niece came to see him. A few minutes later two other cousins came from Shreveport.....the Drs. Bundrick..father and son. At 2:30 he finally went to lie down. Before I got there this morning the aide had been there to shave and shower him, so he was tired. Both the doctors told him that he needed to move as much as he possibly could.

After I left there (having not eaten anything all day), I was starving and so I went to the Boomtown casino buffet. Ate two bites of potatoes and chicken and had to seek out a bathroom. Once again, my throat tightened and the food would not stay put. I am not understanding this at all. Sooo...here I go again feeling fine, but hungry!

My selfish day!

Today was my day out with the ladies and I took full advantage of it trying not to think too much, so I didn't even see Dad today, but he had lots of company today and walked twice...so it was OK that I didn't go. Mom said he ate pretty good today, but he was up a lot last night going to the bathroom. I don't know how she can even know when he is doing that because his room is at the other end of the house from hers and it's a pretty big house. What that means to me is that she is not sleeping well. She even has one of those CPAP machines that she is supposed to use  every night. Now I'm wondering if she is using it because I really don't think she could hear him with that on. I guess her motherly instincts have kicked in again and she hears him like she would a child. I am really more worried about her now because she is tired. I asked her if we could go ahead and get a sitter for the nights so she could rest, but she said not yet. She takes a nap in the afternoon, but she is 84 and not in good health herself.