WTH!

I am just mad now! My dad walked all the way back to my mom's room to tell her he didn't think our getting a sitter was the answer! He said he wouldn't have any privacy....hell, he doesn't have any privacy now, and she told him that.I asked her if he had an answer, but , of course, he has no clue what this is doing to her. He is only thinking of himself. What it tells me is that he hears a lot more than we think he does. We never talked to him about a sitter, but we have discussed it while he is  in the room thinking he could not hear. His making a comment like that is going to make Mom even more reluctant to let us get a sitter a night. She is just exhausted and is just  not able to do all the things she has to do for him. Yesterday he was all cross ways on his bed and made no effort to right himself and while she was trying to move him around, she fell. Had to call brother to come get her up. Today he fell again. We don't know what he is doing when he falls. Mom thinks he is trying to move the potty chair, which she has told him to leave alone. I don't know what to do. I bought a baby monitor today and have been trying it out here at my home. Works great, so I will set it up there tomorrow. I just pray that he doesn't kill my mom, too!

I'm here!

I should never be AWOL for 3 days because it makes my out of town friends think that my dad has died. Not true...I have just been lazy and there have been no changes. He doesn't get any better, but he doesn't get worse either. Today I took him out for his walk after he had a few bites of lunch and he did OK. My brother told me that Dad barely made it back last night when he went for his walk. Brother had to help him back in the house more than usual. On the plus side, he has not fallen since Tuesday night and that was before my brother went to bed. The baby monitor we borrowed so Mom could hear him at night has too much static in it so we can't use it. I guess I'll go buy one.

This afternoon I helped prepare finger foods for a wine and beer tasting fundraiser for our krewe tonight. All the fruit was bought at Sam's and we had the biggest seedless grapes I have ever seen. I must go tomorrow and get some. The venue is Orleans on Main in downtown Minden because the owner of the venue is also a krewe member. The tables were decorated by another member who also owns a business called The Butterfly Garden here in Minden. Each table has a different theme with things from her shop and each one is awesome. It will be a beautiful night. I just hope people show up. There was no RSVP so we didn't know how many to prepare for.

Denial mode today!

Today has been another one of my special be a slug days. Nothing got done but nap after nap after nap. I guess I am in full denial that I need to be at Mom and Dad's checking on them and taking care of them, but I haven't been and I haven't called. I'm sure my brother would have called me if he thought I needed to be there. It's been raining all day, so we couldn't take Dad out for his walks.

Finally, late this afternoon I fried some perch and took some to my aunt (Dad's sister), who is in an assisted living facility right down from my house.

Just funny!

The guy who does this is a graduate of the school in Texas where I taught and his mom is a friend of mine. He is mostly known as Shirley Q Liquor.

What REALLY happened to the dinosaurs!!!!!

OMG....what to do!

Not only is my dad dying, but he is killing my mom as well. I went down this morning to stay with him so she could go to the hairdresser. When I got there, she was lying down. She said Dad fell again last night and busted his head open. She doesn't even know why he was out of his room because he has a potty chair right beside his bed, but he fell in the hall headed back to his room and the walker was on top of him. Mom and my brother got him patched up, but my brother said it really needed stitches. Mom spent the rest of the night sitting up in a recliner in his room. She is soooooo not able to do that. When I got there, she canceled her appointment and went to lie down. I told her I would stay there and I wanted her to go sleep. She didn't stay down long, but I got some lunch for both of them, took him for his walk and made her go back to her bed to rest. Dad doesn't remember any of what happened last night. Tonight she took his walker out of his room. He can't go anywhere without it. She ALMOST consented to my getting a sitter at night when I asked her this morning...but not quite. I talked to my brother about it tonight and he wasn't sure how Dad would handle that. I told him that Dad didn't have a "say" in this decision. We have to save Mom! He has already complained about the lady we got to help with the housework. Mom told him to "get over it"...she needed help! Good for her!

Change of routine..

No Thursday ladies lunch today. Too many conflicts...one lost her father and another is at the hospital with her mother, who's having surgery today. Majorly moist and hot today, so I'm sure I'll resort to being a SLUG!

Dad seems to be slightly better. Mom stopped giving him zanax at night and he seems to be more stable without it. She didn't have to call my brother even once Tuesday night. I haven't talked to her today, so I'm hoping the same was true last night. She already stopped the ambien last week, which also helped.

Closer to home....

My friend, who lives right behind me, lost her father tonight. He was 94, but, of course, it got the wheels turning in my own head. In the 3+ years I have known her, I can never remember her saying anything nice about her father. She mostly just complained.....I would never be that way! And....she called him by his first name! That just blew my mind. She did a lot for him because she was the only child living in this town until he was put in an assisted living facility in Shreveport near her sister.

I offered again to get a sitter at night for Dad, but Mom still says no.... even though he fell again last night and got a big place on his back where the skin was knocked off. I'm going to look around for a baby monitor that I can borrow to maybe help her out a little. She is a saint, but it is taking a toll on her. She is tired, but she cares for him like he is her child. I try to make sure she rests in the afternoon, but I can't control the company that comes calling on them.

Sometimes I just have to have a REAL coke. Tonight was one of those times. Tomorrow night our neighborhood is supposed to have our National Night Out party, but now that one of the planners has lost her father, I don't know what we will do. Rain is also in the forecast!

Amazing stuff here....this is real!

It's a corn maze!

I like it!

Soggy Sabbath!

Neither Mom nor Dad came to lunch today at my brother's, but I am glad they didn't try. It was pouring and had been all night. I didn't go to see Dad yesterday while Mom went to the beauty shop because he told me I didn't have to come stay with him while she was gone. Well.....when she got back, he was lying in the floor calling for her. I guess I will go next week whether he wants me to or not!. We put a potty chair in his room so maybe he wouldn't fall while trying to go to the bathroom and Mom slept for 6 1/2 hours straight last night. Yesterday, she tried just sitting up in his room in a recliner, but he asked her every 10 minutes what time it was. She couldn't take that! I will go there in the morning and try to do some cleaning where the water heater is because we have a new one coming tomorrow. Dad told Mom on Thursday night that something will go wrong tomorrow and, yes, she got up and had no hot water. My brother got it lit back for now, but he said it was in such bad shape that he called immediately and ordered a new one.

Good day...sort of!

Dad was up sitting at the table when I got there around 11:30. He was waiting for the corn flakes that I was bringing, but he couldn't eat them very well. Don't know why since Mom said he ate 3 bowls of rice krispies last night...not much difference there! My brother came and took Dad out for a walk and before Dad got to rest, his favorite niece came to see him. A few minutes later two other cousins came from Shreveport.....the Drs. Bundrick..father and son. At 2:30 he finally went to lie down. Before I got there this morning the aide had been there to shave and shower him, so he was tired. Both the doctors told him that he needed to move as much as he possibly could.

After I left there (having not eaten anything all day), I was starving and so I went to the Boomtown casino buffet. Ate two bites of potatoes and chicken and had to seek out a bathroom. Once again, my throat tightened and the food would not stay put. I am not understanding this at all. Sooo...here I go again feeling fine, but hungry!

My selfish day!

Today was my day out with the ladies and I took full advantage of it trying not to think too much, so I didn't even see Dad today, but he had lots of company today and walked twice...so it was OK that I didn't go. Mom said he ate pretty good today, but he was up a lot last night going to the bathroom. I don't know how she can even know when he is doing that because his room is at the other end of the house from hers and it's a pretty big house. What that means to me is that she is not sleeping well. She even has one of those CPAP machines that she is supposed to use  every night. Now I'm wondering if she is using it because I really don't think she could hear him with that on. I guess her motherly instincts have kicked in again and she hears him like she would a child. I am really more worried about her now because she is tired. I asked her if we could go ahead and get a sitter for the nights so she could rest, but she said not yet. She takes a nap in the afternoon, but she is 84 and not in good health herself.

FINALLY!

After cooking that beautiful pot of vegetable soup on Monday, I have been unable to enjoy it because of yet another episode of throat tightening and not allowing any food to go down. It always last a couple of days and that's exactly what it did. Lost a few pounds, so it does have an "up" side. Today, I finally ate a bowl of that soup, but I had lost the urge for it already! I took some to my mom and she will enjoy it.

My dad loves the aide that comes to shave and shower him. He hugged all over her and just told me "bye"! He fell again last night and lost control of his bowels. My brother is thinking we need to try to find a sitter for him at night and I agree. It won't be easy, but that's what we need to do mostly for Mom and my brother. Mom always has to call my brother to come get him up. They need their rest as well! Every day he is weaker. My brother goes to walk with him every day and yesterday he said Dad almost couldn't get back to the house after just walking down the driveway. It's a fairly long driveway, but he has been able to do it ok until yesterday.

My neighbor called me when I got home today and told me a lady had parked in my driveway and walked all around my house...even opened the back gate and went in the backyard. Even looked in a window. My neighbor finally asked her if she could help her and the lady just wanted to ask me about my yard and my flowers. She did NOT even know me. My neighbor said it was kind of creepy because the lady's car did not match the neighborhood she said she lived in. I don't like strangers going in my back yard, especially when I am not there.

Productive day...

Cooler weather had me in a working outside mode today, so I have been busy all day in the yard. I dug up another plant in my front landscaping that just requires too much maintenance such as trimming every other month and growing too big anyway. It made me mad when it wouldn't let my caladiums come up straight. The thing had roots to China, but I got it up and went to get Dad's truck to haul it off. While I had the truck, I got a few other chores done as well. Now, I have to figure out what I want to plant in that hole in the landscaping.

The lady had been there and given Dad a bath and shaved him today. He told me that lady did him more good than anything. I am so grateful that a service like that exists. She will come 3 times a week. The home health nurse that sees Mom will also see Dad now. She said he is borderline dehydrated.

When I got home, a friend dropped by and we sat in the yard and discussed our dying parents. Her father is dying as well, but he is 93. When I finally came inside, I made vegetable soup and cornbread and now I can't keep any of it down. It's making me mad because it tastes so good. I haven't had an episode of not being able to keep anything down since August 24th, but I could tell when I was cooking that my throat was starting to feel tight like it does when I have one of those episodes. It's OK though. I need to lose some pounds!!!:)

A milestone...

But not a good milestone....I believe today was the last time that my dad will have Sunday lunch at my brother's with the rest of us. I actually didn't think he would come today, but he did. I went and helped him get in the car and went and helped him get out after lunch, but it was hard on him. Mom told him he didn't have to go if he didn't want to, but he did. Yet another sad day and another prayer through tears that God would just come get him now!

Feeling good!

I was selfish today and took a day just for myself...never went to see Dad and didn't call until tonight. When I finally talked to Mom, she was elated that they had such a good day. An aide came to shave and bathe dad and he didn't give her any grief. He was very nice and did exactly as she asked. Mom said the lady was very good and it turns out that she is the same lady who took care of my dad's sister until a change in insurance made her not be allowed to do it anymore. She shaved him, got him all clean, and Mom even got to take a much needed nap today. If I had been there, I would have given her a cash tip. I'm sure Mom didn't because it's a generation thing...she just doesn't know to do it. I think I can rest well tonight.

YES!

It's fall!

As of right now the fall of 2009 begins and I am so ready for it. Last night we had a cool front come through, so there was a little tinge of cool in the air this morning. To me, that is my signal to make chili, so that's exactly what I did when I got home from Dad's today. I am trying again to do the Shake Those Pounds so I won't be having any of this until I get back from two more functions that I must go to today. I had my shake a little while ago, so I am good until I can get back home to stay. Our hospital has added a new floor and has an open house today, which I plan to attend and a friend's mother died, so I must drop by the funeral home as well. After that, I am HOME!

I went today and stayed with Dad so Mom could go to lunch with some ladies from her church. She needs to get out away from him sometimes. I took him a hamburger and some vanilla wafers that he asked for yesterday and he ate half the burger and the cookies before going back to his bed. My brother did get him to go out and walk a little bit today, so that made me happy. I just don't want him to get to the point that he cannot get out of bed and go to the bathroom without help. He uses a walker and does OK with that. Home Health is working on getting someone to visit him and help him shave and get a shower.

Another day!

After working all day in the yard, I cleaned up and went to see Dad. When I got there, Mom was asleep in her room and he had his eyes closed in his room...don't know if he was asleep. I finally went in again to see him after Mom got up and he just lay there and held my hand. My brother tried to get him to walk some this morning and he wouldn't. Dad told me that he would try to walk some tomorrow. We are afraid that if he doesn't walk, then he will get where he can't. My brother and I don't know what we would do then. We would have to try to find a sitter....which is no easy task. Every day gets a little worse. I'm still praying for the angels to come and get him before he gets to that stage.