I also got to have lunch with our lunch bunch today. Seems like a long time since I have been able to meet them for lunch and it was nice.
All my buds down in South Texas are expecting snow tomorrow. They even had snow last year in December while I, at 200 miles further north, have had none! What's up with that? I want snow. Of course, if my driveway iced up I would be stuck because it goes uphill!!!
Mom was no better today and in a great deal of pain. She took a darvocet just to be able to go to the doctor, but we went. He thought her foot might have looked a little better, but it surely didn't feel better. She got another high powered antibiotic shot and we will give it one more day to get better. X-ray did not show any bone involvement with infection and blood work was OK, so he was willing to give her one more day before admitting her and putting her on IV antibiotics. She is home resting, I hope.
I borrowed my brother's new carpet steam cleaning machine and got my carpet clean. I don't have very much carpet, but it is light in color and looks much better.
On a very positive note, that stuff doc prescribed for my cough worked miracles! I SLEPT! It is so freakin' cold that I am not motivated to go in the attic and get Christmas stuff, so Christmas cards may be late or non-existent. Merry Christmas and Andrea Bocelli ROCKS, by the way!
I took Mom to the doc today and ended up with her at the hospital getting her foot x-rayed. Doc is afraid of infection getting in the bone and traveling to her heart or somewhere else. He's also afraid of a staph infection. He actually wanted to put her in the hospital on IV antibiotics, but we opted to get a shot today and tomorrow and finish the levoquin that our cousin gave her yesterday. If my brother wasn't on vacation, we probably would have gone on to the hospital, but he would feel like he needed to get back home if Mom was in the hospital. We didn't want him to cut his trip short. He needs the break. If her foot continues to be swollen and painful, then we will opt for the IV treatment. Of course, doc heard my atrocious cough while I was with Mom and he prescribed some industrial strength cough medicine. It seems to be helping so far...it's cherutussin AC with codiene. Maybe now I can stop coughing long enough to go in the attic and find some Christmas stuff and get with the program. A little snowfall on Friday might help me get started!!
My brother looks in on Mom several times a day and I do once a day, but tomorrow he leaves for a little much needed R&R. I will be checking on her more frequently although I don't live as close as he does, so it requires more effort for me. We have some local guys on her call list to come pick her up if she falls. Her foot needs attention again, so I will be taking her to Bossier tomorrow morning to let doc look at it. On Tuesday she has another appointment, so I will take her to that as well.
how wonderful I thought he was! I don't think he did!
I worked on Dad's berry plants today. He has a whole row of different types of berries and they really needed to be tied up. I did that and mowed all around them. Dad would be proud. He wanted that done before he died, but we just didn't get to it. His little stool that he sat on while working on his berries was still up there because that is where he did his last bit of work in the garden. I tried to move it right after he died, but I couldn't. Today I moved it because I needed to mow there. I know he is smiling down on me right now. He loved his berries.
We also talked about what to do with Dad's clothes. I guess that will be our next task, but we must do it. Every little thing will be HARD!
Today was my 67th birthday, my first ever without my daddy. I thought about him all day....well, between all the coughs. All I have done was visit my mom and lie down all day. There was a lot of stuff that I needed to do because I am hosting my family on Thanksgiving....well, all 4 of us! Tomorrow I am going to lunch with my mom and sister-in-law and some of their church friends, so maybe I can get something done after that. At least, I will be forced to get dressed.
My cousin took me to Ernest's Orleans restaurant tonight for my birthday. It was my first time at this restaurant and I must admit it was awesome. Just one complaint....they need parking lot redo!!!
Also, today I had the duty of picking up the death certificates from the funeral home. Who knew we would need 10 death certificates!!!! Turns out every single account or name change requires a death certificate. I guess we can meet with the lawyer now and get Dad's name off everything and get Mom's name on everything. Her name is already on most everything, but there are still a lot of things that must be done.
I commandeered my neighbor's yard crew and got them to do my yard just this once. Being totally committed to my dad for the last month got me way behind on things at my own home. The yard is something I do myself because I am kind of anal about it being perfect, but today I just needed help. My house is almost clean as well.
I got yet another beautiful bromeliad today with two blooms from a friend who just found out about my dad. It is beautiful and means so much to me. My garage is full of flowers that I have to find a place for, but never fear, I will. The debt on the new building at my dad's church is being reduced daily with memorial donations. They built the building for 1 million dollars and had a 300,000 down payment. Their debt is down to $50,000 in about 3 years. AMAZING!
We laid my dad to rest yesterday in a beautiful little cemetery down in the country with my mom's family. Since he helped start the volunteer fire department in his little town and my brother is currently the fire chief, a fire truck led the processional to the cemetery. As we passed the local post office, we saw that the American flag was flying at half mast in honor of my dad. That was a very moving sight. The service was absolutely perfect. I would not have changed one thing or one word that my high school friend and neighbor said about my dad or one thing his minister said. Both of them spoke so eloquently and I had made a CD over a year ago of Larry Gatlin singing,"In the Garden" which was played during the service. That song always makes me think of Dad.Dad had told me a few weeks ago what song he wanted sung at his funeral and who he wanted to sing it. It was exactly as he had requested. I have brought my dad's ambien home with me and tonight I am hoping for some deep sleep.
Daddy's gone. He went to his heavenly home last night at 12:30. I miss him dearly already, but I know he is in a place better than all of us. As I left his side last night and started to drive to my home, I started crying and I said out loud to no one....I have seen my daddy for the last time.
Mom, Brother and I made a decision to have an ambulance transport Dad back home to his own bed and call in hospice. We did that today and I feel confident we did the right thing. Hospice has already been there and supplied us with morphine and ativan drops to just put in his mouth to help him rest. He has had no food today and hasn't asked for any. The swallowing problem is still an issue, so we just put ice in his mouth when he wants water. The sitter is with him at home and Mom is sleeping, I hope. After a restless night last night, I am about to go to bed and hope for some sleep tonight. My heart hurts.
Dad was unable to swallow today and we are pretty sure he aspirated. He choked a lot, so he is getting zero nutrition. Nothing works to help him rest...even the knock out shot last night failed. Tonight he had morphine. I would not let Mom and brother leave me tonight until the sitter got there. Usually they go on home and I wait for the sitter to come at 8:30, but tonight I was afraid. They waited with me. My brother broke down and cried today in the room. I'm tired!!!!!
Dad still in hospital. I'm tired. Upside is I lost 8 pounds. Gotta find the positive somewhere!
We had an ambulance bring Dad to the hospital yesterday. I thought he had a small stroke because when we tried to get him walking back to his room after sitting up a long time, his right leg was just sort of flopping. After we got him back to bed, he wanted to pee every 5 minutes, but couldn't even get up enough to get to the potty chair. After his wetting the bed twice and constantly calling for Mom, who had already been up with him all night, I just called an ambulance. Mom can't deal with this any more. Don't know what the next step is...probably hospice and sitters. The sitter we had lined up for last night came and sat with him at the hospital and we all got to go to our respective homes and rest. She is coming again tonight to the hospital. What a blessing she is, but we have some big decisions to make. Every day I pray that this will be the day God takes him home. I guess I'm selfish and don't want to make the hard decisions. Going to try to rest a few minutes while my brother is at the hospital. I was there at 6:30 this morning and someone brought Mom at 10. She is still there.
I am just mad now! My dad walked all the way back to my mom's room to tell her he didn't think our getting a sitter was the answer! He said he wouldn't have any privacy....hell, he doesn't have any privacy now, and she told him that.I asked her if he had an answer, but , of course, he has no clue what this is doing to her. He is only thinking of himself. What it tells me is that he hears a lot more than we think he does. We never talked to him about a sitter, but we have discussed it while he is in the room thinking he could not hear. His making a comment like that is going to make Mom even more reluctant to let us get a sitter a night. She is just exhausted and is just not able to do all the things she has to do for him. Yesterday he was all cross ways on his bed and made no effort to right himself and while she was trying to move him around, she fell. Had to call brother to come get her up. Today he fell again. We don't know what he is doing when he falls. Mom thinks he is trying to move the potty chair, which she has told him to leave alone. I don't know what to do. I bought a baby monitor today and have been trying it out here at my home. Works great, so I will set it up there tomorrow. I just pray that he doesn't kill my mom, too!
I should never be AWOL for 3 days because it makes my out of town friends think that my dad has died. Not true...I have just been lazy and there have been no changes. He doesn't get any better, but he doesn't get worse either. Today I took him out for his walk after he had a few bites of lunch and he did OK. My brother told me that Dad barely made it back last night when he went for his walk. Brother had to help him back in the house more than usual. On the plus side, he has not fallen since Tuesday night and that was before my brother went to bed. The baby monitor we borrowed so Mom could hear him at night has too much static in it so we can't use it. I guess I'll go buy one.
This afternoon I helped prepare finger foods for a wine and beer tasting fundraiser for our krewe tonight. All the fruit was bought at Sam's and we had the biggest seedless grapes I have ever seen. I must go tomorrow and get some. The venue is Orleans on Main in downtown Minden because the owner of the venue is also a krewe member. The tables were decorated by another member who also owns a business called The Butterfly Garden here in Minden. Each table has a different theme with things from her shop and each one is awesome. It will be a beautiful night. I just hope people show up. There was no RSVP so we didn't know how many to prepare for.
Today has been another one of my special be a slug days. Nothing got done but nap after nap after nap. I guess I am in full denial that I need to be at Mom and Dad's checking on them and taking care of them, but I haven't been and I haven't called. I'm sure my brother would have called me if he thought I needed to be there. It's been raining all day, so we couldn't take Dad out for his walks.
Finally, late this afternoon I fried some perch and took some to my aunt (Dad's sister), who is in an assisted living facility right down from my house.
The guy who does this is a graduate of the school in Texas where I taught and his mom is a friend of mine. He is mostly known as Shirley Q Liquor.
My friend, who lives right behind me, lost her father tonight. He was 94, but, of course, it got the wheels turning in my own head. In the 3+ years I have known her, I can never remember her saying anything nice about her father. She mostly just complained.....I would never be that way! And....she called him by his first name! That just blew my mind. She did a lot for him because she was the only child living in this town until he was put in an assisted living facility in Shreveport near her sister.
I offered again to get a sitter at night for Dad, but Mom still says no.... even though he fell again last night and got a big place on his back where the skin was knocked off. I'm going to look around for a baby monitor that I can borrow to maybe help her out a little. She is a saint, but it is taking a toll on her. She is tired, but she cares for him like he is her child. I try to make sure she rests in the afternoon, but I can't control the company that comes calling on them.
Sometimes I just have to have a REAL coke. Tonight was one of those times. Tomorrow night our neighborhood is supposed to have our National Night Out party, but now that one of the planners has lost her father, I don't know what we will do. Rain is also in the forecast!
Dad was up sitting at the table when I got there around 11:30. He was waiting for the corn flakes that I was bringing, but he couldn't eat them very well. Don't know why since Mom said he ate 3 bowls of rice krispies last night...not much difference there! My brother came and took Dad out for a walk and before Dad got to rest, his favorite niece came to see him. A few minutes later two other cousins came from Shreveport.....the Drs. Bundrick..father and son. At 2:30 he finally went to lie down. Before I got there this morning the aide had been there to shave and shower him, so he was tired. Both the doctors told him that he needed to move as much as he possibly could.
After I left there (having not eaten anything all day), I was starving and so I went to the Boomtown casino buffet. Ate two bites of potatoes and chicken and had to seek out a bathroom. Once again, my throat tightened and the food would not stay put. I am not understanding this at all. Sooo...here I go again feeling fine, but hungry!
Today was my day out with the ladies and I took full advantage of it trying not to think too much, so I didn't even see Dad today, but he had lots of company today and walked twice...so it was OK that I didn't go. Mom said he ate pretty good today, but he was up a lot last night going to the bathroom. I don't know how she can even know when he is doing that because his room is at the other end of the house from hers and it's a pretty big house. What that means to me is that she is not sleeping well. She even has one of those CPAP machines that she is supposed to use every night. Now I'm wondering if she is using it because I really don't think she could hear him with that on. I guess her motherly instincts have kicked in again and she hears him like she would a child. I am really more worried about her now because she is tired. I asked her if we could go ahead and get a sitter for the nights so she could rest, but she said not yet. She takes a nap in the afternoon, but she is 84 and not in good health herself.
After cooking that beautiful pot of vegetable soup on Monday, I have been unable to enjoy it because of yet another episode of throat tightening and not allowing any food to go down. It always last a couple of days and that's exactly what it did. Lost a few pounds, so it does have an "up" side. Today, I finally ate a bowl of that soup, but I had lost the urge for it already! I took some to my mom and she will enjoy it.
My dad loves the aide that comes to shave and shower him. He hugged all over her and just told me "bye"! He fell again last night and lost control of his bowels. My brother is thinking we need to try to find a sitter for him at night and I agree. It won't be easy, but that's what we need to do mostly for Mom and my brother. Mom always has to call my brother to come get him up. They need their rest as well! Every day he is weaker. My brother goes to walk with him every day and yesterday he said Dad almost couldn't get back to the house after just walking down the driveway. It's a fairly long driveway, but he has been able to do it ok until yesterday.
My neighbor called me when I got home today and told me a lady had parked in my driveway and walked all around my house...even opened the back gate and went in the backyard. Even looked in a window. My neighbor finally asked her if she could help her and the lady just wanted to ask me about my yard and my flowers. She did NOT even know me. My neighbor said it was kind of creepy because the lady's car did not match the neighborhood she said she lived in. I don't like strangers going in my back yard, especially when I am not there.
Cooler weather had me in a working outside mode today, so I have been busy all day in the yard. I dug up another plant in my front landscaping that just requires too much maintenance such as trimming every other month and growing too big anyway. It made me mad when it wouldn't let my caladiums come up straight. The thing had roots to China, but I got it up and went to get Dad's truck to haul it off. While I had the truck, I got a few other chores done as well. Now, I have to figure out what I want to plant in that hole in the landscaping.
The lady had been there and given Dad a bath and shaved him today. He told me that lady did him more good than anything. I am so grateful that a service like that exists. She will come 3 times a week. The home health nurse that sees Mom will also see Dad now. She said he is borderline dehydrated.
When I got home, a friend dropped by and we sat in the yard and discussed our dying parents. Her father is dying as well, but he is 93. When I finally came inside, I made vegetable soup and cornbread and now I can't keep any of it down. It's making me mad because it tastes so good. I haven't had an episode of not being able to keep anything down since August 24th, but I could tell when I was cooking that my throat was starting to feel tight like it does when I have one of those episodes. It's OK though. I need to lose some pounds!!!:)
I was selfish today and took a day just for myself...never went to see Dad and didn't call until tonight. When I finally talked to Mom, she was elated that they had such a good day. An aide came to shave and bathe dad and he didn't give her any grief. He was very nice and did exactly as she asked. Mom said the lady was very good and it turns out that she is the same lady who took care of my dad's sister until a change in insurance made her not be allowed to do it anymore. She shaved him, got him all clean, and Mom even got to take a much needed nap today. If I had been there, I would have given her a cash tip. I'm sure Mom didn't because it's a generation thing...she just doesn't know to do it. I think I can rest well tonight.
As of right now the fall of 2009 begins and I am so ready for it. Last night we had a cool front come through, so there was a little tinge of cool in the air this morning. To me, that is my signal to make chili, so that's exactly what I did when I got home from Dad's today. I am trying again to do the Shake Those Pounds so I won't be having any of this until I get back from two more functions that I must go to today. I had my shake a little while ago, so I am good until I can get back home to stay. Our hospital has added a new floor and has an open house today, which I plan to attend and a friend's mother died, so I must drop by the funeral home as well. After that, I am HOME!
I went today and stayed with Dad so Mom could go to lunch with some ladies from her church. She needs to get out away from him sometimes. I took him a hamburger and some vanilla wafers that he asked for yesterday and he ate half the burger and the cookies before going back to his bed. My brother did get him to go out and walk a little bit today, so that made me happy. I just don't want him to get to the point that he cannot get out of bed and go to the bathroom without help. He uses a walker and does OK with that. Home Health is working on getting someone to visit him and help him shave and get a shower.
Each year I enjoy watching the hummingbirds. In fact, it's the only bird feeder that I will have in my yard because all other birds make a mess. During the summer, I only had two hummers using my feeder, but now that it is time to tank up for their journey to South America there are birds everywhere. If it is possible to count them, I had six at one time today. They drained my feeder in one day. It was completely empty this morning. Thinking that it must have leaked out, I checked for a drip, but there was none.
This afternoon I took a short leisurely trip to Bossier City, home of Barksdale Air Force Base. All of a sudden right in front of me was the piggybacked shuttle coming in for a landing at Barksdale. I was so shocked that I could not get a picture due to my fumbling with the phone and trying to not run over someone. I missed it, but as I got to my destination in Bossier, Albertson's
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rocery store, and parked in their lot, I saw it again. Apparently, it didn't land the first time and came around again. This time I did get a picture, but not a very good one, so the one here is not mine. I was thrilled to see it so close. I have seen it before much higher in the air and, of course, I have seen it at NASA, but never like this. Awesome sight!
I brought one of Dad's ambiens home with me to try tonight and see if it helps me sleep. I hope so. It's been raining for days, I have a good book to read and Dad is better today....plus, I have a sleeping pill! It's all good!
